Monday, April 16, 2012

These Little Things

Clearly I am running on empty (see time stamp on last post) but kiddo's don't know this and neither does the bus, so we get on with our morning bustle.
Our morning bustle is a well oiled machine. It allows for a misstep here, a minor delay there, but that is really all any of us can handle. Forty-eight minutes from my alarm going off until the bus pulling up is what the three of us need to drag sleepy bodies out of bed and pull together something fit for public viewing. Not me, I walk the dog out to the bus in my sweats and a ponytail, but at least I try to wipe away most of yesterdays make-up.
This morning was tough. Not for me because I haven't had enough sleep for my body to figure out what is going on yet, but for the kiddo's. I had sleepy kids who were dragging a step behind. Interestingly Ben pulled it together but being a step behind for him means that he didn't eat most of his breakfast. "I'll be OK, Mom," he said. But there he went nearly empty belly and I feel terrible that he won't complain. I feel terrible that he will be tired and unable to pay attention and forget that he doesn't feel good because he is hungry, not because he is sick.
I can't stand that he is nine and I am fretting over him not eating breakfast. If you are wondering what that sentence means exactly, take it any way you like. I am sure I have felt it in that way. No one could judge that sentence more or in more ways than I have, but I am getting off track.
The really interesting part of the morning was that Kiera wasn't pulling it together. She wanted to hug the cat, she wanted to hang out in the bathroom, she wanted to stare at the wall... When all of a sudden we had three minutes until the bus was going to be there and I had my girl in PJ's and my boy with no shoes on. Now that my friends is a pickle. What does a mama do when her freaking six year old asks for help getting dressed and her nine year old sits before her unable to get DAFO's into sneakers, let alone tie the damn things, just three minutes before the bus comes? You tell me how you balance parenting in this house. You tell me there is a such thing as fair because I will tell you right now, there is not. There is no bloody reason that I should have to play super mom and put Kiera's clothes next to me and "you can do it" talked her through it while I explained that I needed to help get Ben's DAFO's into his shoes. Ben even told her what a great job she did when she went from naked to bus stop in 2 2/1 minutes.
We did make it. She was so proud of all of us, not just herself. She wasn't upset or hurt or put out. "We made it Mom!" she said when she got on the bus. Team Us.
I sat back stunned at what a typical six year old could pull off in 2 1/2 minutes (she even grabbed a butterfly for her hair) and then my heart just crumbled because I asked her to because he can't.   

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