Monday, April 16, 2012

How Ya Doing?

How ya doing? I ask the question and find myself wondering for an answer regardless. It is the question that, quite literally, has me up at night. How are they doing? How are we doing? How am I doing for that matter?
It's the goofy little triggers that all add up on one day that make me dream and wish and beg with all of my heart for Ben to answer that question for me. I wish for answers to all kinds of questions, like why sometimes I can get answers and sometimes can't. Why were you yelling all day? Why are you crying out in your sleep? Lost party invitation for Ben is making me nuts but I won't know how he feels until he is so disappointed, or not. Kiera has been up twice just to tell me she loves me after going to sleep so sad. And she is just your typical wreck of a six year old.
So, how ya doing, because I have no idea. It's all good but just a bit of a mess. Or is it all a mess but still good? Tomorrow(today) is Monday and my lovely madness will get on the bus and I will try to write a couple of papers and channel some super mom powers of let it be what it is. Now please, let me sleep.  

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