To my boy, my first, my angel, I wish you the happiest strongest year ever. You amaze me everyday with your strength. I love you baby.
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
We had some bad juju hanging around our Birthday day's this year. We had quite the day on Kiera's Birthday and Ben's proved another challenge. Much temper (crying, spit flying and fighting) was finally won over by a huge stack of pancakes and a big glass of milk. So it was a happy birthday after all.
Monday, January 26, 2009
10 1/2 years ago a family friend called and said "Heard you two are looking for a dog." A puppy I corrected. She asked us to just take a look at a beautiful 1 1/2 year old lab that really needed a home. She brought over a beautiful and totally insane bad dog. We kept that bad dog and today we had to say goodbye. She was a bad dog. But she had no choice in the matter. Six months of abuse had changes a defenceless puppy into an alpha like no other with all sorts of issues. She sounded like she could and would rip out your throat when she played. She attacked the hems of our clothes to the point that there were several years where we just didn't have any intact hems. She barked incessantly at anything that moved outside our windows. She ran away at any chance and we always found her by following the snarling that ensued when she found another female dog to pick on. She ate my Tupperware out of the sink, repeatedly. She ate anything left on the counter for that matter including but not limited to butter dishes, 3 pounds of ground beef and an entire fresh baked apple pie. She growled at my babies and anything that crawled. She chewed through sippy cups only full of water. She had bad dog teeth that needed a $300 cleaning every year and don't even start tacking on what the extractions cost. She had no use for us the moment we walked out the door so she was un-walkable without special equipment. With baby Ben With baby Kiera
But she was also sweet, playful, joyful, loving and affectionate. She was always glad to see us. She had to touch our babies when they were small with a paw or nose. She watched over the kids and was at a crying bedside faster than I was. She never once put her teeth on a child. She learned that I was the alpha, and gave me that respect. She didn't chew non-food related stuff with the exception of the plush squeaky toys we gave to her. She needed to be with us (in the house) all the time. She was a great foot stool and pillow. She could hold it like nobodies business! She stayed up with me every night and would go to bed when I did. She loved Dave. She like nothing better then curling up on his feet. She loved Kiera. She really loved Kiera and Kiera called her her best friend. She learned to take commands from Kiera. She loved our cat Corbin and would play with him for hours. He always won. She let our cat Maggie love her. She named herself when Dave suggested whiskey and I answered "How about Skyy?", and she came. She cleaned up after the kids. The best vacuum ever. She was a part of our family.
Kiera sharing her blankets.
We'll miss her.
Saturday, January 24, 2009
Tap, tap, tap went little toes into my room. "I have to go peeps!" screamed a giant voice from a tiny little body. And so it began, Happy Birthday Kiera.
I opened my eyes, bleary from waking 3 times in the night with my restless almost three year old and wished her Happy Birthday to which she said "It's not my birthday, I'm just 2!". OK, I can go with that, at least until I get my coffee. We all piled onto the couch for coffee and milk and I pulled down the picture of my sweet little one, just 5 minutes old and told her about the morning that she was born. In my pre-coffee delirium I let her hold the picture frame and the next thing we knew both Kiera and Ben had cut there fingers on the glass and there was blood everywhere. While we where cleaning that up and getting ready to go seen Gramma and Grampa at their hotel, the dog threw up buckets at our feet. Then collapsed. We made it out the door and to breakfast where Kiera had cake and got to blow out the first first candle of the day. YAY! Hope for a great day! We went for a swim where Ben and Kiera took turns forgetting they can't swim and swallowed gallons of water and we ended up carrying two screaming children out of the hotel, desperate for a nap. Kiera woke up from that nap wet and crushed (presumably from excessive pool drinking). But, we made it back out of the house (past the dying dog to dinner) where the kids took turns losing it until the wonderful magician came with his crystal ball and magic bubbles. Toss in another piece of chocolate cake and the day was saved in the end!
It was a tricky but Happy Birthday!
Love you so much Kiera!
Thursday, January 22, 2009
I really try to keep my eyes open. I have a special needs son and a tornado daughter, it is in my best interest to see what is coming. It is also in my best interest to see it before others do so that I don't have to deal with the "news" shall we say. Well, time got away from me and all of a sudden it is Birthday time again. I did some thinking of fun individual get togethers for the kids a while back but then figured that this may be the last year that I can get away with having a joint party so I'd take advantage and have a little group of close friends and fam over to celebrate (insert head in sand). Having the together party will be great. It will also be safe (time to get head out of sand). I don't want to deal with trying to sort out who Ben would invite from school. Would he invite anyone? His teacher and helper most likely. Then if asked again would he want to invite kids? Would they want to come? Would their parents pressure them into coming even if they didn't want to? I have had to sit back in the last few days and swallow the damn bitter pill that it is halfway through the school year and Ben doesn't have a best buddy. He hasn't been invited over to play. Anywhere. Not once. It makes me cry. So we will have our together party, and it will be fun and no one will have to know that I have spent nights crying over it. They I'll ask the questions, swallow my fear and set my sights on making friends. Playdate anyone?
Tuesday, January 6, 2009
I wish I was one of those moms that said things like "it was a challenging evening" and truly believe just that. I really do. I think that I had a period of time when maybe that was me but it sure isn't me right now. Now when I say "it was a challenging evening" what I am thinking is that it was sheer luck that my demon children lived to see their daddy tonight! They (we) are having a tough time transitioning back from vacation. We had many wonderful moments over the last few weeks where my lovely darlings loved each other. Really! They were seeking each other out, playing games of their own making, playing with kind words, and best of all treating each other with understanding and patience. Just two days back to the grind and they are the same intolerable beasties that I wanted to toss out of the house 2 weeks ago (can you do that with 3 and 6 year olds?). I actually thought just before the break that they need a vacation! Well they had a freaking vacation and all it did was tease me into thinking that we may be turning a corner of decency then tear away my new found hope. They have resorted back to shrill screaming, hitting, pushing, yelling, and ignoring, contrary little beasts! Ugggg! I can't stand nights like tonight when I actually look at my children and hope that they just don't become serial killers because all hope is gone of guiding them toward being positive members of society! For your entertainment, a few snippets of conversation from the last 24 hours. I can’t give you too much because so much of it was unrecognizable child shriek. Mom: Ooo! You smell so good. You smell like fresh tubby and strawberry toothpaste! Kiera: sniff, sniff You smell like yucky! You a yucky mommy. Mom: I’m pretty surprised that you don’t want to go swimming buddy. Ben: I want to make you sad. Mom: just after putting Kiera down COUGH COUGH COUGH! Kiera: Is that you mom? Mom: Yes honey but I’m OK. Just a cough. Kiera: You OK? OK then, you need to stop doin that cause it’s keepin me up from sleepin and I tryin to sleep.
Look sweet enough don't they?
Don't be fooled they are partners in my mental undoing!