Thursday, April 3, 2008

As I listen to my dear, sweet daughter scream to wake the dead while thrashing her body into everything that didn't get away fast enough (so sorry Dave) I have some thoughts about our day...

You may not get as angry about getting dressed if you would keep your clothes on. When I help you put on your clothes because we are going somewhere and you take them off, we need to put them back on. Every time you take them off. If you take off your clothes three times then you will get dressed four times in the morning. Nakey bottom is not an acceptable outfit for school.

You will not get a positive response to phrases like "get it Mama!", "No Mama!" and "COME HERE RIGHT NOW!"
Taking your brothers milk is not funny and will make him yell. So will eating his food, taking his toys, hitting, pushing and bugging him while he is on the potty. It also just sucks when you run to the potty so that you can get on first when he says he has to go. Give a guy a break.

If you ask for a cookie and I pass you a cookie then you yell "No!" I actually think that you don't want a cookie. The look of confusion on my face when you start crying because you don't have a cookie is real.

Wrapping paper belongs on the roll unless you ask otherwise and is not as pretty around a present when it has been crumpled in a ball.

Toys are for playing with. Simply transferring them all around the house is not really a game. It is a chore. For me. And I don't like it.

Hand soap is for hands. Just two small hands mind you and if you use the whole pump of soap you are not really more clean then after the first washing. Also, if you feel the need for clean feet please ask for help. Sitting on the counter isn't safe. The "soap for your hands guide" applies to feet.

A sandbox is made to hold sand. Not just to store it until you have time to dump it on the ground. And when I ask you to keep the sand in the sandbox I expected an answer like "OK" and wasn't really excited about you telling me to "Bewax (relax), Mama".

55 degrees is not no-jacket-bare-feet weather.

Sleds don't work on dry pavement. Even if you scream and cry.

Snorting is pretty funny but I will tease you about it when you are older.

If you wander off while outside you may get lost, hit by something with wheels or run into a wild animal. So when I ask you to come back I'm not being mean. I really am trying to protect you.

If you chase the animals while screaming, or not for that matter, they will run away.

Please ask for help if you have decided to use the potty chair. Cleaning pee pee and poop off of the floor is no fun. AT ALL.

While standing on the chair at dinner with no pants on, dumping water on the floor and screaming into your cup may be funny, we won't laugh and you will get in trouble.

Please only unwrap gifts that are intended for you.

Please sleep in your bed. Wandering into my room every night is not a good choice and sleeping on the couch when you feel like it scares the daylights out of Daddy. Its a comfy bed, good blankets, nice pillow, use it.

Lastly, because of days like today (yes this all happened today), when you get older and bigger and you think that you are the center of the world I will show your prom date this picture.

Or maybe this one.

I love you.
Love Mom.


Greta said...

...but she is soooo cute...:))))

Allison said...

That is the funniest ever! Hang in there!

Kellie said...

I am absolutely in love with this post. But....are you living my life? This whole post could be him in a nutshell and the non-sleeping, teasing his older brother, independence streak is really starting to wear me out. In a good way of course.

Enjoy your very own head strong child and definitely keep those pics for future dates!

Heike said...

Don't you just love it when your children tell you to "just relax"?

I am soo glad our new house has not a piece of carpet in sight, now that Boo Boo has taken her first tentative steps on the potty.

Sounds like it was one hell of a day - but long live strong women!I like that girl of yours (and not just because she has the name Beaver would have had had he been a girl)