Thursday, February 26, 2009

Alone

Mid-winter break. Always a bit of a disappointment. Even as a child I wished to head south for the break and my children are no different. Not an hour after we learned that Ben's surgery was a no go, my clever little man had a plan; "Since I wont be waiting for my belly to get better, it's time to go camping on mid-winter break. To the beach." Huge bummer to make it clear that we just couldn't do it. Tough for a kid to understand that we would have to drive to the Keys for it to be warm enough to camp and THAT IS A LONG WAY. So, we have made the best of our week. In the cold. We made a trip to Build-A-Bear where Kiera picked out the pinkest, floweriest, Kiera-est bear she could find and promptly named it Huggy Bear. Ben looked at every choice and after a good deal of thought picked a good old shaggy dog. When I asked if he had a name for the dog he gave me a look of confusion and said "Skyy. She's a girl dog named Skyy." Aww. We had some great play dates. Long days with friends at their houses where the toys are new and the friends are old. I even got to chat a bit! Great days for all. I did my first ever "sign them in, drop them off and come back later". I didn't even know that you could do such a thing but at IKEA, you can! So I did the short chat to be sure that they were comfortable with Ben and off they/we went. They have never been left anywhere. Off they went. Didn't even look back, just took off to play. AND had a great time while I got to stroll (jog) through the store with a friend. A grown up friend. We talked and had opinions that had nothing to do with whining. Nice. And of course no week is complete without the requisite doctors appointments. We saw Ben's physical medicine doc and got a big thumbs up. Stronger, not tighter, sounds great, looks good. No big changes so not a big surprise. Then we had the milestone 3 year and 6 year appointments. Kiera is 38" tall (75%) and 32 lbs. (50%), had her first vision test and passed and is over all, a precocious neurotypical child. Ben is 47"tall (75%) and 42 lbs! (25%) and his lungs sound clear. I don't know what I like to hear more, clear lungs or 42 lbs. 42 lbs was a fun number to hear. Even if it was after 3 slices of pizza and 2 glasses of milk. I'll take it. It would mean that we have finally made it back to how much he weighed 7/2007. A year and a half to re-gain lost weight. That my friends, is why parents with non-eaters or even CP eaters watch every meal. Easy to lose, hard to gain. The doctors appointments were actually a fun part of the week. Well, except for the part when the doc tried to help us out by freezing the persistent wart on Ben's hand. I can only describe the sound as a monkey and a screech owl somehow fused and both really pissed. We'll forget that part for now, this is a happy post. I even got in on the action and had a doctors appointment today. Off to my yearly neurology visit where I usually wait around for a bit then answer "no" the annoying question "have you had any seizures?" (as if he wouldn't be the first to know) and then listen to him talk about his wonderful children then donate my co-pay to the cause. This appointment was setting up the same way so when the question was asked I gave my "no" and added, but I feel like crap. Can you believe, he stopped and talked to me for a good 20 minutes about how I am feeling. Diagnosis (drum roll please) high stress and bad sleep. Yup, sounds about right. So he suggested a sleep aid. No Ambien for me. Kiera wakes in the night and apparently if you are woken up on Ambien you are liable to wake up in the neighbors driveway. So he suggests something low dose, extended release that allows you to wake up then go back to sleep. Xanax. I had no idea what it was until I read the info sheet from the drug store. Anxiety... panic...Wait a second, so if you take it during the day you have a panic disorder and if you take it at night you just sleep like crap. Hmm, we'll see. Keep in mind that I went to this appointment alone. My wonder mom came in to hold down the fort while I went to the doc. So there I was, driving to get my blood drawn (must be sure levels are correct, no seizures AND no thyroid cells) and I had this peaceful feeling wash over me. Yep, on my way to get my blood drawn, sounds crazy but when you do it a few times a year it stops being stressful. It took me a second to place this peaceful feeling, then I got it. It was simply that I was alone. Not rushing anywhere, not listening to anyone and simply being responsible for myself. Alone for the first time in who knows how long. It was lovely.

3 comments:

Heike said...

Ahhh. Parenthood. To drive to a hospital to have your blood taken, and to feel totally peaceful and pleased with life... I totally understand. This is the woman with an ex-dental phobia, and i now quite like lying in that chair all peaceful. Yeah. Parenthood. Especially our kind eh? It changes your perspective. Just a bit...

Angela said...

I understand those moments too!!

I wanted to ask you to send me an email at angwilhelm@gmail.com so I can send you an invite to read my blog! I have gone “invite only” for the time being!
(((hugs)))
Angela

Sam said...

i miss ya'll so much! i am so ready to be done with classes and see everyone at the wedding. i finally got around to actually posting a blog..i know it's been awahile but it's been crazy down here. love to everyone! <3