Thursday, January 22, 2009

A Bit Sad

I really try to keep my eyes open. I have a special needs son and a tornado daughter, it is in my best interest to see what is coming. It is also in my best interest to see it before others do so that I don't have to deal with the "news" shall we say. Well, time got away from me and all of a sudden it is Birthday time again. I did some thinking of fun individual get togethers for the kids a while back but then figured that this may be the last year that I can get away with having a joint party so I'd take advantage and have a little group of close friends and fam over to celebrate (insert head in sand). Having the together party will be great. It will also be safe (time to get head out of sand). I don't want to deal with trying to sort out who Ben would invite from school. Would he invite anyone? His teacher and helper most likely. Then if asked again would he want to invite kids? Would they want to come? Would their parents pressure them into coming even if they didn't want to? I have had to sit back in the last few days and swallow the damn bitter pill that it is halfway through the school year and Ben doesn't have a best buddy. He hasn't been invited over to play. Anywhere. Not once. It makes me cry. So we will have our together party, and it will be fun and no one will have to know that I have spent nights crying over it. They I'll ask the questions, swallow my fear and set my sights on making friends. Playdate anyone?

6 comments:

Heike said...

Oh, the dreaded birthday paries. Isn't his just one of the hardest things? Beaver has sorted this one for himself - he doesn't do them anymore. He only wants family there, and then goes to the movies or a theatre performance with daddy. In these very long school holidays, can you guess how many playdate invitations he got? One! And that one didn't happen. We have invited two kids that Beaver really wanted to have, and mercifully they - or their parents - decided to come over - main attraction being that we have a swimming pool. Yeah. I ask him who his friends are and he tells me which kids he likes. Not who his friends are. He doesn't have a friend, let alone a best buddy. Whereas Possum - he has a best made ('he's like my brother mummy') and heaps of pladate invitations...

Angela said...

I am so sorry. We've got a March bday (Jack) and an April bday (Morgan) and I am truly considering a joint party as well. It has hit me really really hard that we can't do the typical big kid bday things. No bowling, no rollerskating, no chuck-e-cheese. I doubt any place in town has something accessible for 7 or 8 kids who primarily use wheelchairs. Insert picture of massive dream home here! I am sorry, I just hijacked your post!! I think a joint party with lots of family and cake and goodies will make everyone happy. Keep us posted. (((hugs)))

Melanie said...

I hate birthday parties for the same reasons. And I get bummed out too, but as long as you and your husband are there to celebrate I am certain they will have fun.

If you can email me privately off line, Daniel & I would like to send the kids a birthday surprise if that is ok.

Ellen said...

I did joint birthday parties for a long time. Since Max has been in a school for special-needs kids, those kids always came, along with my friends' kids. This year, I chose to do Max's birthday party in school (he's now 6) and I'm doing a separate Sabrina party (she's turning 4) at a b-day party event place near us. I feel kind of guilty that she's getting a fancier event than he is but, then again, the school party is what made Max happy. And ultimately, this is mostly about what makes your child happy. So think about that--what can you do at home that will make Ben happy? Then focus on that.

I hear you on the not-having friends thing, Max doesn't exactly have any, either, which can bum me out. But I'm getting proactive about it, I'm going to get one of the kids in his class to come over for a playdate soon. I know, the hard part isn't just not having friends, it's that typically-functioning kids may not want to hang with your kids. But there, too, it's a mixed bag. Some kids are cool with it (and parents, too). Maybe there are just a couple of kids worth inviting? And if there aren't, well, like I said, do what makes Ben happy.

Greta Myers Photography said...

Hey guys, we just flew back in to country, about an hour ago, We are always up for the plaudate and some drinkies for mommy and daddy...and drumroll, even a movie night...:)

Nelba said...

Hoping that Ben finds a special friend soon!

And if there wasn't thousands of miles seperating us, we'd definitely be there for a playdate!