Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Late Nights

What do you do with the pain of fear that sets so heavy in your chest that you feel you could physically remove it? What do you do? I push it away. I "deal" with it which is to say that I keep living and it fades. Which I guess is also saying that I don't deal with it at all. I try not to cry and hope that it passes quietly. I've dealt with it. Does that count? I know the cycle of grief. We are in fact old chums. So I know that it will move on it's way, in it's way. But what do you do when the pain and fear you feel for your child drops you to your knees and wracks you with silent sobs, silent from all the years trying not to wake others with your tears. What do you do? I let it cry it's self out then I shed a few more tears for all the mama's out there who have silently cried with me.

7 comments:

Heike said...

Oh Shannon. Sending you big hugs across the cables and wires that connect us. Hope it gets better soon...

MeghatronsMom said...

{{{Shannon}}}}
You wrote so well I how I often feel and can't put into words! I too hope this passes soon and you move onto another stage in the process.

Billie said...

Oh Shannon... I am crying with you now.

Allison said...

My friend, I am so sorry you have to hurt. You are such a good mama and it is so painful to hear my friend aching like this.

Melissa said...

Yep I'm with Billie...the tears are flowing!!!

Sam said...

aunt shannon! i miss you terribly. seriously call anytime to talk or whatever.
loves

Lisa M. said...

Oh I know this one well.

Very well.

I am so sorry, it hurts doesn't it.

May God bless you, even when peace is so illusive.