Monday, January 28, 2008

Happy Birthday My Amazing Boy

Five years.
Where to begin?
Five years ago my water broke...six weeks sooner than expected...
Five years ago a sweet doctors answered my call with "Looks like we're having a baby! Wait, how many weeks are you?"
Five years ago my seemingly complicated world became silly.
Five years ago things got serious.
Five years ago you came into this world kicking a screaming and a dream began.
Five years ago you stopped breathing and we nearly lost you.
Five years ago my heart shattered.
Five years ago a dream that never was, slipped through my fingers as hard as I tried not to let go.
Five years ago I begged to see my beautiful but all too still baby boy.
Five years ago my life and my world ended, changed and began anew.
Five years ago I learned what a mothers love is.
Five years ago I started fighting for you.

Since than...
"He will never hold his head up"- you do.
"He will never roll over"- you do
"He will never sit up"- you do
"He will never crawl"- you do
"He will never bear weight on his legs"- you do.
"He will never talk"- you do
"He will never never walk"- you do and now you run!
and the best...
"He doesn't love you. He will never love you or form human bonds"- you do! You are the most loving little person that I have ever known.


You have taught so much. You have given me so much. You have shown me the world through a completely different lens that misses nothing and never skips past the little things. You have shown me what courage is. You have shown me what strength is and it has little to do with muscles. You have proven over and over that there is no such thing as never. You have broken my heart with "I want to walk mama" then made it burst with joy with "I can do it!".

I will be strong for you.
I will cheer for you.
I will cry with you.
I will always be there for you.
I love you my first child.
I love you my amazing boy.


Allison said...

That was rough, but amazing. You should be so proud of Ben and you!

Heike said...

Well Ben, as you know, adults think they know it all - but they just don't. You show them boy! Happy birthday to you and your amazing mamma from your friends in Australia.

Billie said...

Happy Birthday Ben!!!

Shannon, I love these birthday posts and the pictures with them. Your kiddos are truly beautiful and oh so amazing.

Lijy said...

Your Post tells the complete story of your past five years. Cheers to you and Ben for going through all those difficult moments.
Wish you a very happy birthday Ben. May God Shower his choicest blessing on you.

Jason Myers said...

Shannon that was absolutely beautiful.

Nelba said...

Thanks for this, Shannon. It is beautiful. And though late, happy birthday to Ben and Kiera!

Shannon said...

Thank you everyone!