Sunday, November 16, 2008
Have you seen Ratatouille ? Well, if you have I had an Anton Ego tastes ratatouille moment. I was walking into the hospital to do some Fashion Show work and passed by freshly cut-back grasses. The scent hit me like a wave of warm water and literally pulled me back to my childhood in a way that I haven't experienced in, well I don't know how long. It stopped me in my tracks. It instantly filled me with joy followed just seconds later by excruciating pain that made my breath catch. You see, that scent, that smell shot me back into the green fields of wheat that used to grow behind my moms house. But it wasn't my mom's house then, it was my parent's house and the feelings that washed over me were freedom as I ran through those fields, innocence, adventure, security. It was warm, I could actually feel the warmth wash over me as I remembered what it felt like to have no fear, no worry, no concept of real pain and loss. I held onto the feeling as long as I could and then the shear force of reality nearly took my breath away. It was just a second of childhood innocence but feeling it replaced by 30 years of life's harder lessons all at once... I used to be that little girl. I used to believe. I have lost that little girl and it breaks my heart.