I thought that it would be easy to keep writing when I started blogging again, I had so much to say, just say it. Then I signed up for another writing class and all that went right down the tubes. Nothing like a cocky piece of work who was paid to write a sports page for years and years, who is IN LOVE with his red pen, and is insulted by your lack of perfection to suck the will to write right out of you. That class is however, on my to do list, paid for, and worth a grade so I'm sucking it up and writing my ass off for Mr. Red-Pen. Today I am on break with no writing homework and free to write as poorly as I please. I did one of those really foolish things yesterday, turned my head while brushing my hair. No big deal right? Wrong. At least it was wrong yesterday. As a result, last night and today I'm the goof who turned my head and now can hardly move, because I turned my head. It has afforded me lots of time to look straight ahead and do plenty of being still because everything else hurts. What I have done is read a bit. My reading has reminded me that I am not the only one wrestling with IEP's and the overall idea of fair.
IEP time is not my favorite time of the year. Even when you know exactly what you are facing, it is difficult to see and hear every issue your child deals with in such concentration. This year is a little different in that we have a new member to our team. The change didn't seem like it would be any big deal because he knows me and knows Ben, but apparently this fellas motives are unclear and he didn't realize that I do my homework. For what ever reason, could be at least one of three that we can think of, the man suggested things to me based on reasons that are not only not valid but not legal. My hope is that he was just talking out of his ass and didn't realize what he was saying but was trying to get my onto a track without really telling my why, but now sir, we are not friends. You are dangerous. So am I. Another part of this IEP that is sketchy is the standardized test issue. Ben is in third grade, there are tests all over the place and Ben does not test well. So what do we do? What exactly are we looking at? Are the holes as big as they look and just showing up now or do we move to testing that works for Ben and blow off the rest? And what about the assistive tech that was never implemented and the fact that he doesn't have a scribe either? Or that we haven't been invited to the damn IEP anyway and only know that there is a date from the OT? Or that I just checked the date and it is one of the dates I said no to because it is during a class time for me. Fucking hate being the bad guy. So much anger behind the word hate. I'd say it's not fair, but there is no such thing as fair.
Sigh, time for more Tylenol, my neck is killing me.